Defining Your Identity

This morning I was reading just as I do every morning and I saw something that really made me stop in my tracks and think. 

 (Pic found on Pinterest)

How do we see/identify ourselves? Do you identify yourself by your circumstances? When you look in the mirror, do you see a girl from a broken home? A girl that was rejected by her father? A girl that lost her best friend way to early in life? A girl that messed up A LOT in her younger years? A girl that refused God at the time she should have turned to him?

So many of us see ourselves as our circumstances but that's not what God wants us to see. God created us and he created us in his perfect image. That doesn't mean we are going to be perfect but it does mean that he will forgive us for our sins. That no matter what, he loves us and sees us as the perfect beings that we are. All you have to do is accept him, love him and do right by him. 

To me that is a HUGE comfort! I was not Ms. Perfect by any means and I am still not. I mess up, I make mistakes....the difference is now when I do, I turn to prayer. I turn to God, ask for his forgiveness and then pray for strength to not only move on but to do better next time. I ask that he provides his strength in me and helps to guide me in the right direction. 

I went through a very difficult situation almost 8 years ago. At that moment in my life I was young, I had lost and I was hurting very badly. Instead of turning to God for his strength to get through it, I was MAD at him! I wanted nothing to do with him because I couldn't understand how something such as this could happen. He didn't turn his back on me though. He sent me peace, love and waited for me to accept that there are greater plans than the ones we have. That God's plan triumphs every other plan. 

Just as God's plan triumphs, so does his LOVE! He doesn't care if your parents divorced or if they have been married 50 years. You dad walking out of your life doesn't reflect on you as a person but rather on your father in God's eyes. He doesn't disown you if you have a wild couple of  years. His love triumphs that and he accepts you back the second you ask for forgiveness. Now that gives me so much inspiration. That means I should not be judging myself on those things either! I should accept myself for who I was and take each day to better myself. Each day is a gift and I should (and do) use that day to get closer to God, my family and to become the best version of myself that I can be. My past is forgiven. My future is bright! 

In the book  I am currently reading, the author talks about how she once identified herself by her circumstances (broken home, rejected by her father, etc.). She found hope by changing how she identified herself with her circumstances and instead identified herself by who God says she is.

Christina, the forgiven child of God. (Romans 3:24)

Christina, the set-free child of God. (Romans 8:1-2)

Christina, the accepted child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:2)

Christina, the holy child of God. (1 Corinthians 1:30)

Christina, the made-new child of God. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

Christina, the loved child of God. (Ephesians 1:4)

Christina, the close child of God. (Ephesians 2:13)

Christina, the confident child of God. (Ephesians 3:12)

Christina, the victorious child of God. (Romans 8:37)

(Feel free to put your name in place of mine, as I replaced the author's name with my own.)

I think it's SOOO important that you identify yourself as something other than your circumstances! We are each made for more! We deserve more and we ARE more! 

If you are interested, the book I am reading is Made To Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. It's actually a book based on her weight loss journey and how she fought her cravings by seeking God and how we were made to crave but the intention was to crave God and not food. It's a great read and I definitely recommend it! :)

This Beachbody Coaching thing....

There is a skeptic in every one of us. We see something awesome or someone that's excelling and we say "That's too good to be true." I've said it and I've heard people say it when it comes to Beachbody coaching. 

"You are telling me that within a year I could quit my full time job and make enough money to work from home as a Beachbody coach? Yeah right!"

"There is no way people even make money off of that!"

"It's just a pyramid scheme!"

"I'm not a salesperson so there is no way I could do it!"

"I'm not at my goal yet. I haven't even completed a program. I'm not eligible to coach someone!"

If you think those things then I have an opportunity for you. You can get a glimpse into Beachbody coaching and decide if it's for you or not! No obligation, no fee, just a REAL inside glimpse into what it's all about and it will help to answer your questions and objections. 

It's simply an online, Facebook group lead by my Diamond Coach. You join the group, see what it's all about and if it's for you then AWESOME but if not then that's okay. You really have nothing to lose. 

I honestly couldn't tell you where I would be if I didn't have this opportunity. I absolutely love being a stay at home mom but I noticed only a couple of months in that my focus was solely on my kids and I felt a part of myself slipping away. I felt I should be doing more, helping others and giving my life a purpose. I needed something to focus on other than my daily routine with the kids. Again, I LOVE my kids and I am SOOO grateful to be at home with them. That's the best part, I am at home with my kids. I am watching them and helping them grow while still having my OWN purpose. Not everyone can be a stay at home mom because they need the income. The good news is you can turn coaching into your possibility to stay home with the kiddos! I have a personal friend that is now leaving the Air Force after 3 years to be a stay at home mom to her wonderful son thanks to Beachbody coaching. It's possible!!!

This sneak peek group is an amazing opportunity to see if coaching is for you! There are no special requirements to get into the group. NO purchase, no age limit, no gender restrictions....just email me and let me know you want to join the group and we can get you there.

I forgive you.

I forgive you! Those are words that I should have spoken to my father a long time ago. 

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I was only 18 years old, what some might consider an adult, and I made the decision that I thought would best suit me. I decided to move back to mom’s house because you weren’t around.  I decided to spend the remainder of my senior year as just that, a senior and not as a working adult. Yes, I made an adult decision and as you said, I must deal with the repercussions of my decision. Never in my mind did I think that one of those repercussions would be you leaving my life for good. I had no idea that you needed and wanted so much control over my life that by me opposing YOUR desires I would lose my father.

Over ten years later I am now a mother to two beautiful but stubborn and opinionated little girls that test me daily. What I can say though is that even at their most stubborn moments, I would NEVER walk away from them for “disobeying my order”. They are my children, my BLOOD! AND I LOVE THEM!!!! They will make mistakes and do things that I won’t approve of because that is how they grow into their own person. I can provide them guidance and love but I cannot force them to do as I say simply because that is my desire. I did come to a realization though….you simply acted the way that was shown to you as you grew up. You learned to parent from your parents who were the old school “do as I say, not as I do” type. You learned to hold your love and attention hostage when you didn’t agree with what your child was doing. I vow to BREAK THE CYCLE! I won’t allow my kids to feel that. My love is not something I can turn on and off or hold hostage from my kids. It’s unconditional and they DESERVE to feel it each and every day regardless of their actions.

I can’t blame you for that anymore. I forgive you! I was hurt, and I still am, that you could simply walk away. However, I know now that you didn’t know how to break the cycle. You didn’t fully grasp the consequences of YOUR actions. By holding your love hostage and walking away from my life, you have lost out on being a grandfather to my two amazing daughters and to my two amazing nephews. You have lost not just one but TWO daughters. You missed my graduation from high school, my graduation for Army basic training, my homecoming from my deployment, my wedding day…. the list goes on and on. Those are the consequences you now have to live with as you once said to me.

Through it all, I am not mad at you…. at least not anymore. I was for a long time but that anger and hurt does nothing to you but it does hinder me. It causes me to keep a wall up and to keep people at bay that don’t deserve it. They aren’t the ones that hurt me…you are.

Joel Osteen says it best in these passages from his book Your Best Life Now:

“When we hold on to unforgiveness and we live with grudges in our hearts, all we’re doing is building walls of separation.”

“You must tear down the walls. You must forgive the people who hurt you so you can get out of prison. You’ll never be free until you do. Let go of those wrongs they’ve done to you. Get that bitterness out of your life. That’s the only way you’re going to truly be free. You will be amazed at what can happen in your life when you release all that poison.”

“Forgiveness is a choice, but it is not an option. Jesus put it this way: ‘If you don’t forgive other people, then your Father in heaven is not going to forgive you’.”

I can’t and won’t hold on to that anymore.  So let me say it again…

I FORGIVE YOU. With all my heart, I forgive you. I wish you all the best that God has to give and I pray many blessings over you and your family.